18 Year Old Virgin

At what point does a film stop becoming a movie, and become a porno? This is a question that 18 Year Old Virgin, another Asylum 'Mockbuster', ponders on a great deal.

The plot centres around Cute-but-Virgin-Girl (I can't remembers anyone's names, so sue me. We'll call her CbVG for now) as she tries to lose her virginity at a party so she can sleep with a guy who has a 'no virgins' policy. I say "Policy", he phrases it like this:

"I'm sorry, I made a vow to myself. I can't have sex with a virgin". The word "Vow" adds so much power to this line. It's as if he's been plagued in the past. I can imagine this character, on a stormy night in Bickley, finding upon a virgin who promises to love him so. Through months of courting, they end up in the bedroom, where he unleashes the furious sexual beast he has onto her unsuspecting pure and virgin body. He feels satisfied to have pleased his virgin lover. She moans about how good it was, and how brilliant he is in bed. And then she puts the X Factor on.
Never again will he make that mistake.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. So, CbVG spends the majority of the movie running around this party trying to fuck dudes. So what we basically have is awkward sex scene after awkward scene, with a lot of boobs and vagina's to keep the spirits high. And this is where my original question comes into play: At what point does it become porn? You don't see any actual insertion, but its a film about sex with lots of nudity in. Surely that makes it porn? Because if so...It's good. Plotwise, I mean. I mean, its got some funny lines in, the acting is decent, and the story is entertaining (despite a rather predictable ending).
However, if this was intended to be a teenage comedy with some nudity thrown in...then...
It's just not good enough. The funny lines are few and far between, and the acting doesn't make up for the unbelievable characters presented. For example, you expect me to believe that a cute, virgin girl can't find a single boy, at a party where lots of boys are drinking, to fuck? I mean come on, I've been to parties, if a girl is willing enough a girl WILL get laid. Hell, the fact the dude at the beginning didn't jump on her is a sign that he is gay. Spoiler, at the end it's revealed he's gay. Doy.
The funny bits come thin and slow, with a lot of the humour relying on awkward situations. It's a comedy style that's been so perfected by Peep Show its odd to see an American Mockbuster try to compete, but it does give it a go. The highlight of the awkwardness is when CbVG tries to get it with Gwlhbwaiute (Guy who loves her but won't admit it until the end. Lets call him Gwilh for short), and the awkwardness is almost unbearable. In a funny way.
When it comes to the humour, I would like to quickly mention one line. It came out of nowhere, and actually made me laugh quite a bit.

"I will wait until 40 to lost my virginity if I have to"


Nice, referencing the film you're trying to rip people into thinking is yours. I found this an amusing, slight-self referential line, and I do have to pat the backs of the writers for that line. But then stab them for all the others.

But, no matter how I complain about it, the film isn't extremely terrible. Y'know, compared to a few other Asylum films, I'd say it stacks up pretty well. This could be in cinemas. Hell, worse films have been in cinemas across the country. In short, this film is the tits. Literally.